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Sep. 11th, 2010

Can I haz Merlin nao?

Hi everybody! *gathers you into a big hug* I've been failing massively lately at balancing RL and fandom - hell, I've had trouble just balancing life. I've read one really good [profile] paperlegends fic, and I have several others open, and even more yet to explore.

I've been feeling enthralled about Merlin again lately, and though I've not had time to read all the articles and interviews, I've been squeeing over all the pretty pics and opening up millions of tabs. Unfortunately, I won't be able to watch Merlin till late tonight (PST, even!) because I'm working (yes, on Saturday), having drinks with [personal profile] chaeche and our SOs and then going on a date to the symphony. ♥ Which, is to say, it's not a particularly bad reason to miss Merlin.

But still.

Expect squee from me later, and I hope the new first episode inspires me to write. I'm really looking forward to Morgana especially, and I might write some femslash - given there will be more Merlin/Arthur than one can shake a stick at (again, not a bad thing; it's still my Merlin OTP).

This RL/fandom divide is something I'm going to have to learn to balance, especially given I'm going to have four shows (Glee, SPN, Merlin and Gossip Girl) to follow this fall (which is, amusingly, a lot for me).

Off to skedaddle back to work, but I will return later with little stars of gay in my eyes.

Jul. 1st, 2010

A cross-country adventure

I won't be around that much for a bit as I pack up my life and head from Raleigh, NC all the way to Seattle, WA. To say I'm excited and stressed wouldn't even begin to cover it. :) I'll be accessible via email. I'm leaving Friday and hope to get there mid-next week.

Now, go forth and write so I'll have something to read! Take care everyone. I'll miss you! ♥

May. 13th, 2010

Consider this an official announcement.

I am moving to Seattle the last week of July! :D

And, yes, I will be driving all the way across the country for the first time.

Oct. 29th, 2008

Why are the cats eating the insulation?

-Had a great weekend which consisted of hanging out with [info]anthimaeria and seeing HSM twice with [info]nqdonne

-Finally have a workable plot for [info]hp_darkfest. Have not started writing it. I have another fic which I'm going to be working on, but it involves me finding Dumbledore's voice, which is more difficult than I'd anticipated. *smooches Cal*

-Betaing and modding for [info]snarry_holidays is very stressful.

-I started working at Borders today! Training was all right. There was a lot to remember and the Training Supervisor continually told the lamest jokes. *sigh* On the plus side, we have this book loan program where I can borrow two books at a time. So, pretty much, I have full access to all the books in Borders and a 33% discount.

-I'm starting a temp job tomorrow--at a non-profit. :) I think I'll be doing internet research.

-Will now drink espresso at midnight and beta!
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Oct. 9th, 2008

Quick update

1. Finally working! I have a temp job as an admin assistant at an up-end office furniture company in downtown Boston. Only working there a week.

2. Waiting on the results of two interviews. They're about as different from each other as you could possibly imagine: one LGBTQ non-profit work, the other finance.

3. Politics 23/7.

4. The Daily Show was particularly good tonight, and not just because Michelle Obama was the guest.

5. If I do not receive my absentee ballot soon, I'm going to kill.
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Oct. 4th, 2008

In which I ramble.

I've been preoccupied the last couple of weeks. I took about a week to have a supreme pity party, then kicked myself in the ass. Went home to NC to see my family, which helped me to put a lot of things into focus. The last week I've concentrated solely on my job search, which is tireless and frustrating, but may actually be going somewhere. I'm working with several job agencies--and I have an appointment with a v. good agency on Tuesday. I had a job interview today, and I really hope to get that job (admin for a non-profit which does LGBTQ healh-related work). There were less applicants than for other positions Ive applied for, so I feel this one is more promising.

I also got my hair cut today, which I couldn't really afford to do, but I did anyway because my hair looked like shit and it was way too long, etc.

Me bitching about the incompetence of people )

Yeah, so I need to write fic. Lots of fic, fic for fests. ARGHHHHHHHHHHH! I love to write at times, and at other times I hate it.

I read the last chapter of [info]mistful's DDG, and let me say, it made me giddy. *swoons*

Tomorrow I'm eating lunch with NQ, writing, applying for more jobs, going to a wine party in Cambridge, and missing everyone who will be in NYC. :(

Sep. 3rd, 2008

Back in...Blue. A few updates.

I wanted to begin by thanking so many of you for the outpouring of support I received about the situation with my dad. I decided to go to New York to see him. I figured there was a lot more to lose if I didn't go. The situation--the one, you know, that my relatives were negligent in telling me--was that he had had a heart attack and had an open heart surgery. He was out cold when I went to visit. I stayed for around two hours and sat there, writing a letter while I watched him sleep. I wonder how my letter will be received. I wonder if I'll know if he even bothered to read it or not. I met his wife for the first time, which was interesting to say the least. But, I did my part, stayed two hours and left my letter. I came back to Boston the next day, feeling satisfied I'd done all I could. My dad's surgery went well, and they think he'll make a full recovery. The family members I did see while there were not not very receptive--doing everything from cursing at me to ignoring me--so I ignored them and stayed at a hotel that night, declining the invitation to stay at my aunt's house.

I went to a job interview today--the one at GLAD. One of the guys was a complete asshole, but I think I did all right. They kept fishing for answers and seemed to be frustrated that I wasn't an idiot. There's another round of interviews next week, and so we'll see if I'm called back for that. I'm still looking for other options

I'm filling out my sign-up for [info]smutty_claus and I realized I haven't read het in so long I don't know what pairings I like. I've settled on Snape/Lily so far. :P I'll go see what the other participants have requested for inspiration! *giggles at [info]snegurochka_lee's length--er, lengthy sign-up*

I need to be writing my very late contribution to a fest that I'm not sure if they'll accept at this point. *sigh*

By the way, if any of you want to be on my political rants or music filters, go here! I feel a political rant coming on...

*waves to the new friends on my flist*

Jun. 26th, 2008

Live Long and Marry...or don't marry...but at least have the right if you so choose.

My night )


I'm offering fic for [info]livelongnmarry.

Some of you already know all about this. For those asking "WTF is this?", here:


What is this?
Live Long And Marry is a fandom auction to benefit marriage equality. Bidding begins on July 1, 12:01 Pacific Time, 2008, and closes on July 15, 12:01 Pacific Time, 2008. Please do not bid until bidding opens.

What's the cause?
The auction will raise money for the fight against the California initiative which will legally destroy existing same-sex marriages and ban any further ones. If the initiative passes, it will write discrimination into the state constitution, annull existing marriages, and make Mr. Sulu cry.

How can I help?
You can bid on fanfic, original fic, vids, cookies, memorabilia, critique/betas, and much more! Or you can offer your skills and services as a writer, vidder, baker, knitter, or whatever else you'd like.

Read more in the userinfo.

I am contributing fanfic and here's my post in case anyone's interested:

Offer: I will write no less than 5,000 words of fanfic. I primarily write in the Harry Potter fandom, but I also can write in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Twilight, and Queer as Folk fandoms. I primarily toy with writing m/m slash these days, but I can and do write het, femmeslash, or gender-queered pairings/interactions -- or gen! I will write any pairing from any of these fandoms. I'm not that shy about writing kinks, so if you have something particularly kink-worthy in mind, I'm probably open to it. If you want to ask me first, feel free.

Contact: bewarethesmirk [at] gmail [dot] com

Delivery: I'll have your story written, polished, and finished by November 1.

Minimum bid: $20

Buy it now: $80

Please consider participating. There are tons of wonderful HP writers offering their services, and a lot of people writing in other fandoms and/or offering miscellaneous things.

Jun. 6th, 2008

Good morning!

♥ Thanks to everyone who offered birthday wishes for me! *smooches* There are too many to name. :)

I'd like to point out two adorable ficlets written for me:
Hit the Beach by [info]enchanted_jae (Harry/Draco; PG)
The prompt I gave was: Draco's first time at a Muggle beach.

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall by [info]softly_sweetly (Harry/Draco; NC-17)
The prompt I gave was: obscene magical mirror

If you wished me happy birthday and I haven't responded, I must not have seen it. Please point me in the right direction. *haz greed*

On my birthday, I ate Indian with the roomies, and then [info]friarlawrence and I went to the mall and saw Narnia 2. I got $100 from my Mom and a $100 from my grandpa. Can't complain about the money. But the best birthday present I received was Obama clinching the Democratic nomination. *icon*

♥ I've been sleeping waaaaaay too much lately. I mean, really. I need to stop.

♥ I'm going to pack up my stuff, run a few errands, and then go to my grandparents' for the day/night. It'll be nice to have a functioning TV again, with cable, so I can get a politics fix.

♥ I've two H/D novels I'm working on now--and when I was in the shower I got an idea for a Snarry. Argh!

♥ It's going to be 100 again today. *cringes* I did have a productive talk with one of my roommates about the A/C.

ETA! I forgot to mention I have a job interview Monday! *cross fingerz and toez and other appendagez*
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May. 30th, 2008

Job Applications are Stupid.+ other things.

Let it be known to all and sundry that I hate electronic job applications which require answering 36 pages of questions asking "SD, D, SA, A." Many of these questions are repeated a hundred times and purposely contradict each other. Make them all on one page. Ask a few of these questions. Interview me to ascertain if I have these qualities or call my references. I'll write an essay detailing my qualifications for fuck's sake, but filling out pages and pages of this bullshit is absurd.


Can you tell I've been out applying for jobs?

I've been been taking care of a lot of long delayed things today. In order to get my BA, I'm completing one more political science course in Summer Session II (Lack of Civil Liberties in the US). I'm working on taking a French course at NC State University in Raleigh (*waves at [info]winterthunder*). Arranging for this French class has been and will be a pain in the ass. It's also going to conflict with Portus and Terminus. I'm still going to both, but my time is going to be cut short--aka I'm going on weekends. I still have to find money for the French class. Which leads us to...

Jobs. I'm looking for anything, really. I've even been applying for positions in restaurants, which is a declaration of my desperation. I'm going to apply for Borders and Whole Foods later. And then there's the Real Job search which will probably begin in July. Washington, DC, here I come (I hope!)

I'm at an awesome coffee shop on Duke's campus (*waves at [info]pennswoods*) right now. I was in Durham applying for jobs and so I'm here. :P It's only about 30 mins from my apartment anyway.

Congratulations to [info]legomymalfoy. Congratulations to LJ (or someone in LJ) for utilizing what I'd call commonsense with the new LJ policy. I've not read the whole thing yet, but from the commentary on my flist ([info]pir8fancier and [info]nqdonne included!) it seems--at the very least--promising.

May. 19th, 2008

Ice cream attack.

Right now, I really wish I had a digital camera -- because if I did I'd take a picture of the Ben & Jerry's ice cream carton on my desk (still mostly full). (I say this because so many people are doing the "Day in the Life of xxx" meme.) I started my period today and I'm having horrible cramps, and chocolate/sugar cravings. So after I went to eat Mexican food with MB tonight and we watched TV, I went to Harris Teeter (supermarket), at 2:00am, and bought ice cream. It's Half Baked (which, for those who don't know, is chocolate and vanilla ice cream mixed with brownies and chocolate chip cookie dough). There goes the diet for tonight. *blushes*

The only groceries I have in my apt.--since I just moved in--are soy milk, cereal, bread, peanut butter and jelly. Oh, and Diet Pepsi. Hah.

I need to write tonight, but I feel shitty with the cramps. :( I'm going to try to write at least some. I'm gonna work on my very late [info]hds_beltane fic. *nods*
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May. 17th, 2008

OMG, I'm back again!

Yes, yes, I'm actually here.

For the last, oh, months, I've been out of it. I've constantly immersed myself into anything to escape from the realities of life until I was so fucked over (this happened multiple times) that I'd have to play catch up (which usually meant making excuses).

Now, I've moved from my dorm to an apartment where I'll be staying this summer. I've got to find a job and take two classes this summer. Then I'll finally get my BA. But needless to say, I feel like I'm in the real world again and not just drifting somewhere. (I have v. big problems with depression, escapism, etc.)

That includes being more involved in fandom than I have recently! :) I'm going to organizing all the bookmarks and memories on my computer and compiling all my fic into one convenient location, for starters. And I need to catch up on fics I have to write for several exchanges, including a pinch-hit for [info]hp_traditions, and perhaps [info]hds_beltane. This doesn't even scrape the surface of the reading I have to do. If anyone has recs from [info]snarry_games or [info]hds_beltane, or [info]hd_inspired, please leave them!
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Apr. 2nd, 2008

Job searching....

is not fun.

I will be very happy when I have something secured.
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Feb. 15th, 2008

The people I work with have the personalities of dead fish.
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Jan. 11th, 2008

an incohernt run down

i. i'm so exhausted from this week that i don't even feel like making a proper post. i've been up since 7:30am after not sleeping much last night, and i'm at work until midnight.

ii. this has been the first week of class. this is going to be the busiest, most rigorous four months of my life. i'm doing a lot of things that push my limits, but most are things i want to do. it's just a matter of being able to be efficient and survive. all of my classes seem good except for french, which is going to require a huge amount of work.

iii. i'm co-chair of feminist students united this semester on my university's campus. i want to do well but i'm so afraid of other people's opinions and i'm so not together. i doubt my own ability to think, reason and function. maybe i should see a therapist.

iv. i have a fic to beta which i might actually do tonight after i get home. i'm in a too tired to sleep yet too tired to read for pleasure mood. maybe betaing is the right combination.

v. great. now i'm hungry. i don't have money to eat. more than that, i do not feel like going to franklin st to encounter all the drunk people.

vi. i'd like to catch up and read all some of the otw posts. i feel overwhelmed by the amount of information.

Jan. 2nd, 2008

Better late than never.

Okay, okay, so I'm a bit late. Nonetheless, I wanted to wish everyone a very Happy New Year! I'm not even going to pretend that I can make and keep resolutions. I'm barely functional on a daily basis, so to pretend to make all these additional goals would just be ridiculous. But, I was just talking to [info]chiralove, and one resolution I'd like to make, and keep, is to write a novel-length HP fic. The longest fic I've ever written was around 10,000 words, and even that was more of a just-for-the-sex fic. I do better with more space. I like details and time to build characters and relationships. I thought forever that I'd be writing a Snarry fic, but now I think I'm going to be writing an H/D fic due to recent inspiration. :D Okay, and another resolution: be better about feedback. I know the [info]merry_smutmas feedback levels have been down this year, and it's really just sad. I don't know if it's a product of less people going to InsaneJournal, less people reading, or what, but it really does depress me -- so I'm going to make sure I do my fair share.

Tomorrow (er, technically today), I'm going to attempt to find a lawyer to take care of the ticket I have. Yuck. Shouldn't be a very fun process. I'll be glad when it's over. I really just want to write a check and be done with it.

Dec. 6th, 2007

Just an observation:

Men look sexier in winter clothes than in summer clothes. I wonder why that is? The effects of my Snape obsession and the ensuing "the more robes, the more mystery" mentality?

I don't know. There's something about sweaters and long coats and long trousers and boots.
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Nov. 8th, 2007

My First Memory

Next week there is an event in response to sexual assault at my university called Speak Out! Against Sexual Assault. The organizations responsible for co-sponsoring the event are encouraging anonymous accounts of people's own experiences with sexual violence. I submitted a narrative of my own a few minutes ago, and have decided to share it here.

This is personal, but something I don't mind sharing. It's disturbing and a bit graphic, so if you don't want to read about sexual abuse done to children, I advise you not to read. Comments are welcome. I'm going to screen them in case anyone wants to talk with me about my experience, or something that's happened to them or someone they know. Remember, too, that you can comment anonymously.

My First Memory )

Oct. 24th, 2007

List of grievances

*I'm so sleep deprived it's depressing. I've slept some combined 8-10 hours this week from Sun-Wed. (This is because of classwork.)

*I have a presentation at 3:30 today I'm incredibly nervous about, but I am so eager to be done with.

*I have erratic emotions that are preventing me from sleeping. Could also be the stress and the not eating enough.

*I have no money, and so I'm barely eating. I get paid on Friday, and that money will go to a credit card company.

*I am leaving work in a few minutes - an hour early - to return to my dorm so I can take a nap.

*I'm writing a fic tonight that should be turned in by tomorrow, but probably won't be because it needs so much work.

*I have to do [info]snapenews too.

*I also have to go to a Feminist Students United meeting, where I'll probably be expected to stay for a movie.

*It's raining here for the first time in ever. We need it because of our huge drought.

*Much love to everyone in SoCal. :-(

*I hate sexist programming and homophobia/heterosexism.

/end ranty list
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Aug. 13th, 2007

The never-ending saga.

So LJ speaks again. I haven't made any comments here about it, but it should be obvious how I feel about everything by now. The new comments represent some last minute panicking as far as I'm concerned. It's better than nothing, but I still feel very confused about what constitutes "reasonable" and what doesn't. I'd rather just post somewhere else entirely and not have to deal with the potential backlash.

I swear, if I stay away from my computer for a few days, I feel like I am so disconnected with the world.

On Saturday I drove to Virginia to see The Remus Lupins and The Whomping Willows, who were also accompanied by The Golden Snidget. It was very awesome. We stayed afterward and hung out for a while. Yesterday, I moved in and had the fight from hell with my grandparents -- today things seem to be better because they're trying to pretend like nothing happened. When you hurt someone's feelings, avoiding the subject is not the best way to deal with things.

Today I started training for my part-time job. It's a leadership conference, basically. Tomorrow morning we have a low-ropes course in which we stay outside for four hours and engage in different games with other employees to learn cooperation and blah blah. I don't see how being an Information Services representative (sitting behind a desk and answering questions) warrants the necessity for me to sweat like a pig and pant for breath (unless it's the good kind of sweating and panting.)

Now, I shall go read the latest response to The Post and try to find happy fic.

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